My very bad holiday idea

I spent the last week of May on holiday! Yay! Or maybe not so yay…

 

OK, what I did was go to Kielnarowa with my boyfriend Krzysztof.

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But before we dive into ( = zanurkujemy) the spicy details (= pikantne szczegóły), a short grammar appetizer ( przystawka)!

 

In the sentence “what I did was go to Kielnarowa” I used a special structure for adding emphasis ( = kładzenie nacisku, zwracanie uwagi). When I start with “what I did was”, I want to draw your attention to ( = przyciągnąć uwagę do) what comes after – that I went to Kielnarowa.

 

You can use this structure in other ways, for example:

  • What I really love is chocolate (well, that’s true about me)

  • What I do first thing in the morning is text my boyfriend (again, true)

  • What I did last weekend was finally clean my bathroom – after a month! (well…)

 

And did you notice that the main verb – love, text, clean – is always in the infinitive? Czyli po polsku: główny czasownik jest w bezokoliczniku. Czyli goły :).

 

So, what I did last week was go to Kielnarowa, a small village in Podkarpacie. And that was a very bad decision. Kielnarowa is the place where my prospective ( = przyszła, potencjalna) mother-in-law lives. 

 

And… a short pronunciation note here! The word mother-in-law ( = teściowa) means “mother in the eyes of the law”. Makes sense, right? Anyway, the last part is “law” ( = prawo), and it is pronounced /lɔː/, not /ləʊ/. /ləʊ/ is “low” = nisko. A teściowa to matka w oczach prawa, a nie matka w niskości!

 

So, Kielnarowa is the place where my prospective mother-in-law lives. But that wasn’t the bad decision I’d made. She is a really cool woman.

 

The worse thing is that I stayed at her place ( = u niej), in the attic of her house ( = na poddaszu). And there is no staircase ( = schody, klatka schodowa) leading up there! You have to use a ladder! ( = drabina) So it was every day, up and down, up and down, up and down… Wanna pee? ( = chcesz siku) Go down the ladder! Wanna get dressed? Walk up the ladder? Wanna eat? Go down again! Forgot your phone from upstairs? Well, you guessed it… ( = zgadliście)

But, believe it or not, that also was NOT the bad idea on my holiday.

 

What WAS the bad idea was… By the way, did you notice the same grammar structure as I used at the beginning? What I did was go to Kielnarowa?

 

So, what WAS the bad idea was one of the local attractions I visited: the Pelczar chocolatier in Korczyna ( = czekoladziarnia). Quoting Janice: Oh my God!

 

This chocolate factory – and, alas, shop ( = niestety) – is run by the best confectioner ( = cukiernik) in Poland. Everything they have is so delicious! I started with basic chocolate: milk chocolate, white chocolate, and dark chocolate. Yum! Then the chocolates with nuts, tea bits, and other weird stuff. Even better! And then their specialty – ruby chocolate ( = rubinowa) – which I think is the only mauve ( fioletowo-różowa) chocolate in the world!

 

Then came the ice cream. I had the champagne flavour ( = smak), and it was unbelievable. The flavours of the rest of my crew ( = załoga) were also fantastic. I don’t remember what they were, because I was already busy looking at the pralines…

 

Oh my God, the pralines! They were tiny works of art ( = maleńkie dzieła sztuki), covered with intricate patterns ( = misterne wzory), filled with creamy masterpieces ( = arcydzieła). I wish I could show you some photos, but they disappeared so fast… In my previous lesson, I got a grammar orgasm. This time, it was an oral orgasm.

 

No pun intended.

 

So that was the biggest mistake of my holiday. Unfortunately, some people don’t learn from their mistakes. A few days later, I came back there…

 

And then I had… A tiramisu, with a teaspoon made of chocolate ( = łyżeczka). Ruby chocolate, again. More pralines. Ice cream. And a cappuccino. Oh my…

 

And the result? Around four hundred zlotys disappearing from my account. Yes, the place is not the cheapest. But, even worse, I put on five kilos! ( = przytyłam) When my personal trainer Ania saw me, she said diplomatically: “Kasia, I think you might have swollen a bit around the middle…” ( = troszkę ci brzuszek spuchł… spuchnął… whatever)

 

Well, if you’re watching your weight ( = dbasz o wagę), do not go to the Pelczar chocolate place in Korczyna. It’s a very, very, very bad idea!

 

And… if you’re preparing for a holiday, you’re gonna need a bunch of more English words for travelling! Get them here: https://angielskizhumorem.pl/produkt/travel-english/

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